Thank God for Minneapolis! I got the summer assistant position I applied for, so I'll get to stay here for the entire summer, completely rent free and food's paid for too. Sure, working forty hours a week won't be a joy, but it beats going back to La Crosse. That just isn't my home anymore. My home is in Minneapolis, in the city; it's where I belong. My mom doesn't understand, but I feel at ease here, like everything is right with the world, and I love it. I love skyscrapers, brick buildings, traffic, buses, all of it. I'll miss getting to see Ethan (my little brother) though. He's so much fun, and I feel bad that I don't see him as much, but the Cities are so much better for my mental sanity. I really can't stand being in La Crosse for more than a week, or I go insane. Between my mom and the mundane everything about there, I just can't do it. And now, I won't have to, thank God.

I wrote this a few days ago, after a discussion with my rock history professor.

I'm sitting on the bus, waiting to go to my Anthropology of Hip-Hop class. While talking to my professor this morning, we ended up in a discussion about music being blamed for horrible things that happen in the world, including suicides, school shootings, etc. It seems he and I share similar views on the subject, believing music to be no more harmful than any other medium in which "objectionable" material is shared. To me, music, less tasteful kinds included, have a place in society. Even the more angry kinds serve a purpose for people. If someone is going through a tough time, his/her aggression can be released while listening to music. That pissed off music speaks to them in that moment; it reaches them in ways that someone or something else cannot. Music speaks to our souls, and it gets to the deepest regions of our being. My professor and I agreed that as much as we may dislike what a musician has to say, it must be allowed to be heard. On the other hand, he noted that as a parent, he still as reservations about some music. I also understand that point, but my view remains that the people who commit horrible crimes already had issues, and what type of music they listen to did not influence them heavily enough to murder classmates. The beautiful thing we call music has been violated and corrupted by people blaming it for acts it had nothing to do with. As someone who loves music nearly more than life itself, and as someone who once used those angry types of music as an outlet for my anger, it deeply saddens me to hear others speak of some music as if it should not exist and like it has no valuable place in the world. Especially when it is obvious to those who are paying attention the benefits music has and brings to the table.

It's been far too long since I last posted here, so I'm going to give it another try. I saw phillyfan26's journal and renewed attempt at blogging/using Live Journal, and I thought I should probably do the same. Thanks for the inspiration, phillyfan26.

A lot has happened since my last post in August; here's the short version:
College is great. First semester didn't go as well as I'd hoped, but it was still a good experience, and I now know that I'm really cut out for a political science career, not medicine. See, all bad things (like having to withdraw from chemistry) have a positive light. I took an amazing class called "Listening to Rock and Pop Music," where I met a fabulous professor and generally good guy. Luckily, this professor was there to talk with me as I was doubting myself and my move from pre-med to political science. Huge thanks to him, I owe him a great deal. This semester is much, much better. I'm taking a bunch of classes I love, etc.

In regards to the I-35W bridge, it's currently being rebuilt. It was fairly surreal for me to ride the bus, look out the window, and see the cranes taking down the remnants of the bridge. The pieces of twisted metal supports still lie on the side of the river. Now, the cranes are working, not to tear down the remainder of the bridge, but to have a new bridge rise out of the ruins.

That's all I have for now, and I'm really going to try to keep up on this journaling thing.

This entire event is so shocking and horrifying to me. I'm moving to Minneapolis in less than a month to go to the University of Minnesota, and this bridge is only a few blocks from my dorm. I've driven over the bridge on many occasions, as it is a major road into downtown Minneapolis. My thoughts go out to any and all who were directly affected by the tragedy.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/08/02/bridge.collapse/index.html

( Video of the collapse )

I found out today that I have to have a laproscopic surgery done on the 17th to remove a few ovarian cysts. I'm pretty nervous about the whole thing...I know that I'll be up and moving in a day or so, but still, it's surgery. So many things can go wrong that it scares the shit out of me. *sigh*

My senior year in high school is coming to an end, and although I spent the year at a local college instead of the high school, I still have a small connection to the school. A select few of my friends go there, and I am honored to graduate with them. On the other hand, I will not miss the majority of the people from my school.
As completely cheesy as it sounds, I am truly entering a new phase in my life. Going to college, moving away from home for the first time, these events are part of me entering the adult world. College is going to be a new experience for me. I come from a town of 5,000 people, and I am moving to a city with a huge amount of people…I honestly don’t know exact numbers, but I believe the metro area to be well over 1,000,000 people. That is so exciting and refreshing to get out of my hometown, where everything revolves around who is having the kegger this weekend. I know that these kinds of people will exist no matter where I live, but I take comfort in knowing that for all of the people who are into the party scene, there are just as many people who are content enough with themselves to not get so drunk out of their minds every chance they get that they have no idea what they did the night before.
But, these advantages are also disadvantages to me. Moving to a large city is frightening to me because I’ve never lived in one. The sheer size of cities is a little scary to me. And, I will probably look like a fish out of water for the first couple months or so until I can adjust. It’s also terrifying to move away from home for the first time. The aspect that is scary to me is I will be out of my comfort zone.
I don’t think that I will miss my mom that much…I’ve never had a true relationship with her. I will miss my dad somewhat, but like any parent, at times, he drives me nuts. He doesn’t agree with anyone who doesn’t see the world exactly as he does. This makes for interesting discussions/arguments at my house. The person I will probably miss the most is my little brother, who is turning two at the end of next month. He makes me smile when I don’t want to, and just watching him makes me crack up. I have two younger sisters, one I will miss, one I will not. The one I will not miss drives me insane all the time. She is much like the stupid kids from my town I want to get away from…
The other thing that worries me is my health. My Crohn’s disease is currently in remission, but I know that could change at any moment. I can only hope that I stay healthy throughout my college years, but unfortunately, the odds are against me in that regard. I am waiting for my insurance to approve a new medication for me; it’s a self-injectable that will allow me to be more independent, and make my life a bit easier, so I don’t have to go to the hospital every six weeks to get my infusions. Once I get that approval, I think I’ll breathe a little easier. As long as I stay healthy, I think my college years will be happy and productive.

I am a mere four months away from my new life, and I can’t wait. I will probably fall on my face numerous times, but with any luck, I will also succeed.

I saw my doctor on Monday and will (hopefully) be switching from Remicade to Humira. This way, I can go to the University of Minnesota-Twin Cities and not worry about coming home every 6 weeks to get my infusions. I can just give myself a shot every other week instead. I'm just waiting for insurance now. I don't think they would deny the request, since Humira is significantly less expensive than Remicade, but you never know with insurance companies.

A bomb threat caused the evacuation of eight buildings at the U of M today. I can't believe that people think this is funny or some kind of joke. It's so sick and twisted.

I turned on CNN Monday morning, only to find the tragedy on the television. My friend and I were fixated on the news for the next hour, until we had to go to our next class. As the day continued, the mayhem got worse and worse.

I can honestly say that I still have no words to express the amount of anger and sadness I have felt in the last couple days. This could have happened on any campus, in any town. I'm sorry that I can't express my emotions more eloquently, but all I know is...


Now, we are all Hokies.

A friend of mine and I decided to write "notes" about some kids from our high school who wanted to complain that they were busted drinking underage and all got minors for it. It turned into an intelligent discussion about lowering the drinking age in the United States (which I'm not for BTW), but I guess there's always people who will come in and shit all over it. One kid decided first to tell me that I hate the military. Um, no, I hate the war in Iraq, but I do support the troops, enough to want them to come home safely and get the hell out of a country where we shouldn't be. Then, he attacked another kid, telling him to "go cry about how depressing your life or make faggish music about killing things...thats what u do right....wtf...get a different picture and stop being depressed about shit that doesnt matter." So, I said to stop and that we don't need immature people making comments while the rest of us are trying to have an intelligent discussion/debate. To which he responded, "that is the funniest statement i have ever read. cassie why dont u just say "jared, stop being immature." its funny how you have to say this elaborate sentence about intelligence and maturity just because u think that going to winona makes u smart."

Ah, yes, well, at least I can spell out a three letter word...it's Y-O-U. Seriously, how hard is that?